Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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