I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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