forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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