i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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