Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
