woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
