Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
