just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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