She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
