just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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