The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
