im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
