you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
