Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
