i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
