Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
