Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
