Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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