I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Nicole vs. Life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
