he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
