before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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