is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
