i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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