ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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