Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
