we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
