You can't special order awesome
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize