I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
