I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
