I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
