I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Less talking, more tequila
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
