I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
