Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
