i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
