last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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