trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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