there were more penises there than on chat roulette
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
