mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
