why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
