This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
