Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize