So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
