if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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