It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
