The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
