Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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