Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
