I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he thought i was a dude.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
