I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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