Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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