you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
