Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
