we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
