I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I have aggressive nipples.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
