I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
