I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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