Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
did i just pee glitter
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
