Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
