That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
