Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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