If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize