The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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