OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
