I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
