You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
