Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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