My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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