see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
