Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
