if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize