Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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