Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
