So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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