I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This baby is an asshole
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize