Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
