guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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