the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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