the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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