I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
