Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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