i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
