Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can I color on your dick again?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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