how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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