this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
