I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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